Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Teenagers

I have so many pictures in my folders but haven't found any that I want to upload. To continue with Dad...... . He started dating my girlfriend, Mary when we were fifteen. In fact, we double-dated one time. Funny, we went on the bus to Camden (it was nice then) to a movie. Afterwards, we stopped in an ice cream place and ordered sundaes. Here we are - four in a booth with huge sundaes and only one spoon so took turns eating before the waitress finally came back and gave us more. It was hilarious! Dad went to high school one year then dropped out to work in a stocking mill. When he was seventeen, he joined the Air Force. His dad had to sign for him. While in training, he was tested for careers and scored high in Communications but the A.F. sent him to Cook and Baker school in Massachussetts instead. Go figure! I wrote to him as well as Mary. I think that he was 18 or 19 when he was stationed at Adak. However, when we were seniors, she broke up with him and started dating others. After Adak, he was sent to Louisiana and we continued our correspondence. Finally, mentioned that he was coming home and if I wasn't going with anyone, could we go out?


I loved high school. I know that wasn't true for some of you. In my freshman year, Mary & I took bugle lessons so in our sophomore year, we got in the Drum & Bugle Corp. which was all girls. The guys belonged to the Band and we would march together at all the events. We had dances everyday at lunchtime and on Friday nights so would take the bus back to school. My sister, Addie played on the school basketball team. She was two years older.



Question: What did you like/not like about high school?

23 comments:

Kathi said...

I completely despised high school! The only reason I went- when I went- was for my friends. Jaci Dush and I worked in the nurse's office first period, and that was the best part of the day. Most of the time at school I felt, "What's the point of all this meaningless drivel?" I just wanted to read my books and spend time with my animals- oh, and some of the boys weren't bad either. I got very good at faking tonsillitis and stomach ailments because I didn't want to be tortured at school. Funny that I became a teacher, huh? It wasn't until college that I found my stride.

Gigi said...

High school was very mixed for me. In NJ, I had great friends but lots of drama about various issues at the same time, so it was kinda up and down. I actually loved my government class (surprising, huh? LOL) mostly because the teacher (and I cannot remember his name now, oh no!) thought I was smart and gave me additional books to read that he thought I would like. I was always in trouble for talking too much in German class but Herr Gordon was still one of my favorite teachers. And my 9th grade English teacher was "cool," giving us rock and roll song lyrics to study as poetry. Texas was a culture shock and those of you who know me know how much I hated Cooper High School. Sorry, girls, I know it did not affect you the same way and it was weird to go back there as a parent; glad your experiences were better. But I Hated It, Hated It, Hated It. I remember begging Mom to send me back to NJ to live with Grandmom and Grandpop. I think I would have dropped out if I'd thought it was a real option. Miserable school days, did not fit in, felt very weird and sad and rebellious. Can't remember one teacher I connected with or one class I enjoyed. Just wanted to get out of there and move on with my life. Probably why I can relate to all the troublemaker kids and misfits of the world.

Betty said...

I knew that your high school days were unhappy ones. I don't think your brothers were particularly happy with theirs either. I think it had a lot to do with the upheaval in our lives, the constant moving. It probably would have been better if we had stayed in NJ. But, we didn't have a choice....

Kathi said...

It wasn't your fault, Mom. It was just the age we happened to be when we moved, I think- and the fact that we went from a liberal school to a very conservative one. And really, I never liked school that I can remember. I was scared to death of the nuns in Georgia, and that fear stayed with me through a lot of my school years. I did have Mrs. Norris, Mrs. Lahorgue, Mr. Withrow and my music teacher, Mr. Morgan in Germany- all of whom I loved, but even in NJ, I had few teachers I cared about or that I thought cared about me. It didn't help that I truly was scared of my own shadow and had zero confidence in myself.

Betty said...

And now look at you! When do you think "your worth - self-confidence" kicked in? I had more of the same growing up with Addie being bossy and scared of my own shadow. I think I "grew up" after Dad died. He probably wouldn't like me now! LOL!

Kathi said...

I think Dad would be totally proud of you, Granny! As a matter of fact, I think he's partly responsible for helping you become the person you've become. I was in my 30's when I started to "shift," but sometimes that scaredy cat kid comes back to haunt me. I try to remember something Carolyn Myss wrote- that all decisions are based on fear or love, and if we can consciously try to make them from love, we'll be so much better off. As for Dad, I often feel his presence- especially when I find myself lost while driving or when I have car trouble. He always had a thing about broken down vehicles, didn't he? We certainly had enough of them! :)

Betty said...

Yes, he did! We always had 2ns hand vehicles that he got for a song, so to speak. In Louisiana, we had a Ford that was hit with me driving; in Georgia, we had another that had a hole in the tail-pipe that he fixed with the top of a beer can. He wasn't mechanical! In Germany, we had that Volkswagon bus that had the door tied closed and the hole in the floor so you could see the autobahn go by. I think he decided that in the after-life, he would take care of us especially when it came to cars.

Betty said...

I love this blog. We get to talk of the most interesting things, don't we?

Kathi said...

YES! Dad is definitely making up for the crazy years. When the drunk driver totaled my last car, the police officer said I should not have walked away, but I didn't even have a scratch (well except for a very small one where I hit my head on the door). Then there was the time Jane and I were driving home from Wyoming and had a leak in the gas line. The mechanic said we were lucky the car didn't blow up. We both said that Dad was sitting right between us, making sure we were safe. Every flat tire I've had has been within a block of home. I am sure he's been there. Thank you, Dad!

Kristinn said...

Gran, I'm just now getting to read all your posts and loving them! It is a great idea to end with a question. I loved high school for the most part. Loved being in newspaper, drama and band and having wonderful times with friends!

Betty said...

Krisinn, You hit the nail on the head! You were very involved with high school activities and so was I. I think that's the reason you enjoyed your high school years. Your mom & aunt had to leave the comfort of their being to join another culture so to speak. The first day Jane came home to tell me that her skirt was too short. In fact, the principal called me. They were wearing micro-mini skirts in NJ. I told him I couldn't afford to buy her new clothes to conform with their policy and he told me to sew ruffles on them. LOL!

Kathi said...

Yeah, we never fit in at Cooper. NBC was such a much more liberal, easy going kinda place. It didn't help that "base" kids were looked down upon at Cooper among all of the fratty rich people. So, we base kids just stuck together and did our own thing, which often got us into trouble! AND we were so much SMARTER than they were. :)

Gigi said...

It's never as simple as it sounds. I was involved in activities in NJ and still had a lot of drama. Mostly because of the times and my awakening social conscience. :) If you recall, I was actually READY to leave NJ and start over somewhere else after the whole Black boyfriend ordeal. I thought Texas sounded GREAT. I was enthusiastic about the chance to see another part of the country. It's a little frustrating to think that it's somehow my fault that I didn't get welcomed with open arms by the kids at Cooper. Believe me, I wanted to fit in and join in. They made it quite clear that "base kids" were next to scum, unless your daddy was an officer and you lived off base in a big house. Not only the students, but the teachers also looked down on a certain kind of kid (the long haired boys, the girls who didn't own a bunch of dresses, anyone with the ability to think for herself) The first day when I got in trouble because my skirt was too short--that was orientation day for new students and we were supposed to have the opportunity to meet our teachers, find our classrooms, see what the school was like. I was trying to comply and wore a skirt, even though I didn't have very many and the ones I did have were too short. If I'd been looking for a fight, I would have worn jeans and snubbed my nose at them for real but I was just doing the best I could with what I had. In spite of my efforts, I was grabbed by the neck by a teacher right after first period and made to sit in the AV room all day listening to lecture after lecture by a parade of school officials about what rotten kids we all were and if we couldn't conform, they didn't want us in their school. They introduced me to my new peer group, the rest of the nonconformists, the rebels, the hippie kids, or those who were just inept enough or oblivious enough to stumble into trouble because they hadn't realized the extent of the frenzy there would be when they showed up at school with some hair hanging too far over their ears. If I sound bitter, I think I still am. LOL Could I have made some different choices to make things easier for myself after that first day? Probably so. But could there have been a way for the school to help new kids find their place and to make their way in a strange environment? Absolutely, and they failed miserably at it. It's hard to join activities when you are not wanted and not respected; teen years are very difficult and a lot about how people perceive you. It's humiliating to be around people day in and day out who look down on you and think you are worthless, don't even WANT to get to know you. Then try showing up at school with ruffles sewn on your skirts. It might be funny now but it was horrendous at the time. Add in the fact that we had already taken most of the required courses in NJ so were put into some classes with older kids, which only intensified the "not fitting in" feeling. Anyway, this is obviously a sore point with me even after all these years! Not to get off on a rant but please don't say it's because we weren't involved in activities. :) Okay, enough said. Thank God I don't ever have to go to high school again.

Kathi said...

Thank you, Jane- you're absolutely right. I thought that maybe it was my fault that I didn't fit in, but I know we were treated differently because we were base kids (and enlisted at that). I did eventually join the pep squad, but I HATED it because it did nothing for me- it was never possible for me to fit in- for any of us to fit in- because we just weren't accepted or wanted there. And many of the teachers WERE horrible. The only one I actually learned from was Ms. Green, the Spanish teacher, because she was hard and nobody got away with any excuses. I don't think I had it as hard as Jane because of the first day incident- not sure what I wore or if was even there that day. Either that or I've completely blocked it out. I remember Jane being sent home but that's it. And I was still pretty shy at school, so I just took it instead of standing up for myself- which I really regret now. Our sanctuary, so to speak, was the base Youth Center- the place we could go and hang out and dance...

Betty said...

Your comment is so true about looking down at the base kids EXCEPT it was base people. I remember when I ran the Girl Scout Day Camp. I was supposed to be director but it turned out that it was a bogus title and the real director was a Townie whose husband was some lawyer. I remember wanting to quit. But she didn't know squat about scouting so stayed on. I guess all in all, TX wasn't our greatest place to live.

Betty said...

I never did sew ruffles on them, Jane. I think we bought you one skirt at Sears which you wore forever.

Betty said...

Why did I bring up this subject?

Kathi said...

I think it's a great topic! It's good to discuss things that we feel strongly about. Those are the topics that make the best books! And they're an avenue into who we really are. I wonder what it would have been like to have been Jewish or Muslim in Abilene. Aiyiyi. I do remember that, though we were looked down upon, the minority kids had it even worse. I'll never forget being at some sort of game where the other team had some black players, and people in the Cooper stands were mocking them and calling them names- it appalled me. But it's definitely not all of Texas. San Antonio is a great place to live! And Austin is very liberal and cool- and Dallas- well, it has my very cool niece and nephew and grandniece, so it must be pretty cool, too!

Gigi said...

I may be dreaming but I have a very clear memory of a pinkish plaid dress with a row of ruffles on the bottom. I think we knew someone who sewed. :) Anyway, no biggie to bring up the topic--regardless of how it sounded, I am not obsessed with high school. LOL It just was not a good experience at age 16, but you know, those are the things that help us become who we are. After writing that reply, I realized that the thing you and Kristinn had in common (and my girls, too) more than involvement in activities was that you went to high school in the same area where you'd lived all your lives. I know you went to Camden but you went with at least some kids you'd known. And I think it's the same for the others who grew up in one place. Even though you end up in high school with a bunch of kids you don't know, you also have some friends, or that's what I am guessing. Our problem is that we knew virtually no one and it's not easy to start over at 15 or 16.

Yeah, I think Abilene was a tough place for any newcomer, adult or kid. Not much fun for you with the Scouts stuff, either, seems like. :)

I think my kids liked it pretty well, though, and it was easier for them because they grew up there and had some good friends and WERE involved. Plus I was the involved mom in all their activities which gave me a different perspective than I'd had as a teenager. It's their home town and I don't want to diss it too much. I certainly adapted as an adult and have many good memories of our life there so it's not that I want to paint it as a horrible place. One of my friends once told me that she believed in "blooming where you're planted," which I definitely tried to take to heart as an adult.

But the question was about high school.....

Kathi said...

I would imagine (and hope) that Abilene would have changed by the time Sarah, Bonnie and Susan grew up there. Their friends all seemed like great kids, and I know none of them (your kids or their friends) would have ever treated the "base" kids (or anyone) the way the "locals" treated the base kids in our time.

Betty said...

yah, I think it was that time in our lives. I also think that it wasn't just Abilene, but all over. You remember it was the 70s and we were still reeling from the 60s and all that it entailed. I agree with you both that it made us better people. Amen.

Rider said...

I thought Uncle Charlie signed for him to join the AF

Betty said...

No, it was his Dad. He lived with Uncle Charles and Aunt Jane off and on growing up but that's all. His father didn't die until 1955 so he would be the one to do that.